nocomedy: Hey Amber Nelson! Have you been to New Orleans before? If so, what was your experience, if not, what do you most look forward to regretting at a later date?
Amber Nelson: I have been to N.O. before. I'm from Franklinton, a little town a couple hours outside. New Orleans used to be insane...maybe because I was younger, or because we didn't have cell phone cameras to police each other yet, but I remember walking down Bourbon and watching people (make love) right on the vomit filled street.
noc: We recently took down four of our Confederate statues. Since you were raised in La for a while, I'm sure you might have some thoughts about what might go in their place?
AN: A swastika. Just kidding...New Orleans has so many talented artists, maybe a contest to see what should go up. The people should vote.
nc: Yeah, but the people gave us Trump and Boaty McBoatyFace; they'd probably go for Ted Nugent in four different poses. What about this, then: four statues that would most most enrage the Confederacy?
AN: OK, how about: a statue of a guy throwing away a half drunk Busch light, one misspelling Lynard Skinnard (Leonard skynard, under an actual statue of Lynard), a cowboy stepping into a Prius and the Yankees baseball team holding up the Satanic Bible.
noc: You recently moved to Los Angeles. What's been the biggest culture shock that's also hilarious even if you have never been to either city but know about them through television and movies?
AN: Hollywood is filled with beautiful people with ugly souls. A lot of people with perfectly toned abs who don't tip the bartender.
noc: I did a Hollywood Celebrity Tour last time I was in LA. Which famous person's tall hedge or service entrance would you most like to drive past in a hot bus?
AN: The Scientology houses are pretty interesting. They're all super gated and gorgeous. I just want to pull a high school prank and tp their yard.
noc: We've got Solange and the lead singer of Arcade Fire living in New Orleans. Whose neighbour would you rather be?
AN: Solange seems pretty cool. We could dance and have art parties. Honestly I picked her because I don't know much about Arcade Fire. They look like a Stevie Nicks cover band.
Amber Nelson headlines The Dragon's Den on Friday June 9th at 8.30pm. The show is presented by CFY and tickets are $15 via TICKETWEB.